When the Golden Years Start to Lose Their Shine
Planning for retirement isn’t only financial - don’t forget about your mental health.
Planning to retire in Bend, Oregon? Let's talk. When working in primary care, I received numerous referrals for patients in the "baby boomer" group or in the close-to/retirement life chapter. Initially, I was somewhat surprised to see the number of referrals I received for this group as I have often had my own daydreams about retirement and the freedom one can have in their schedule. When we look at how the media glorifies this stage, we see images of daily golf (and somehow a great golf game for that matter), travel, cooking classes, and laughing with close friends. Many have also described this chapter as "the golden years,” so I think it shaped my personal and clinical perspective into a positive one.
Quickly however, I learned the many reasons why patients in this age range are seeking therapy today. For some, they have retired and the "honeymoon" phase has worn off, so now they feel they have too much time on their hands yet not enough time to do what they want. They may miss their career identity, that feeling of waking up with a goal to focus on, or are currently adjusting to spending significantly more time with their spouse. Often in these cases, I discuss with patients the juxtaposition of being "on" and being "off,” and in this life stage, the on/off dichotomy can start to feel like a gray area. Simply put, it feels good to be off when you have been on or it's that feeling of kicking your feet up after a long work day. There is a reason our restaurants and parks are full on a Friday night; many of us can relate to that feeling of celebrating the end of a work week and entering into the respite of the weekend. In retirement, your weekend may feel like your week and vice versa.
I have found that this fluid structure can be almost too open which lends itself to the "I will do it tomorrow" trap. And we have all been there, right? There is a humanness to this process that I want to validate. I think we all function better in some kind of routine, daily structure, achieving a sense of productivity, being mentally stimulated, and staying connected. Other hurdles can include coping with a big life event such as a new medical diagnosis, adjusting to your empty nest sounding a little too quiet, navigating changes in your family relationships, or recently moving and struggling to connect to your community.
It is also important to note that we are all in a unique phase of healing and transitioning into a “post-pandemic” world. A sense of community and shared experience can be such an important key to the healing process. I wish I could describe in writing the look of relief on my patients' faces when I share with them that they are not alone and many of their peers feel this way. Together we can focus on building up your retirement mental health portfolio ensuring it is diversified and instills purpose, connectedness, and vitality.
